How confident are you?

How confident are you? Give yourself a mark out of ten, where ten means you feel you can achieve anything you desire (if you apply yourself ), and zero, that you feel totally incapable of anything. If you give yourself less than ten, ask yourself why. Reflect on the mark you have given yourself.

I feel like I am an eight.  I am very capable of doing multiple things yet I get derailed through self doubt.

Adaptability

How good are you at adaptability: Travel. Cultural knowledge. Exposure to new things and unfamiliar situations. It's where adventurousness, spontaneity, independence, risk-taking, and the ability to handle new situations, and the ability to handle new situations.


I like situations that are well known and I am cautious.  That being said, I've had a lot of experiences where I surprised myself.  I went to backpack through Europe alone, I went to live in a foreign country for two years.  I worked at a sleep away camp for two summers. I survived a natural disaster.

I just need to have more planned spontaneity.  If you can plan it.

Looks

Define yourself in terms of looks: Well groomed and Standing out. Belonging to a tribe he wants to be part of or at least visit.

I am a decent looking guy.  I am not as conscientious about my grooming.  I have a couple of stray hairs that could use some trimming.  I like all of the shirts that I have bought over the last couple of months.  They are bright and colorful.  They are very different than how I dressed before.

I have no idea what type of pants I should be wearing.  I heard my friends making fun of someone because they wore pleated pants.  I have a vague idea of what that means but I have no idea how I look in them.  Someone told me that I looked good in my pleated pants.  I just need to take a woman shopping with me.

My shoes are a disaster.  I treat my shoes awfully.  I rarely take care of them, no shoe buffing, and I never look to see if they are muddy or stained.

It is my goal to buy some cologne.  I had fun last time I went to Macy's to buy some.  The bottle I chose was $80.  I am going to find a smaller cheaper bottle at a factory outlet.

Limiting Beliefs

Write down three beliefs that you hold about yourself which could be limiting your confidence.

• That I will not have goals, a future, passion
• that I am not being my real self.
• That I will not be able to face the challenges ahead of me.

Overall, very untrue and yet nonetheless defeating thoughts that keep me from going ahead.  It is a fake it until you make it exercise.  Ultimately, I have to make it.

Ideal Man

Describe your ideal man in detail  What is he like? Go into as much detail as possible – the way he looks, sounds, feels, smells etc. Go into even greater detail – the way he smiles, the books he reads, the way he talks – and make a vivid mental picture of him, with sight, sound, feeling and even smell.  

• Intellectually stimulating conversations.  Knows something about life either through books, school or life.
• Tall and thin
• Is not an alcoholic or drug addict
• Displays kindness to everyone.
• Must get along with my family
• Successful professional and financial life
• someone who wants to have kids
• Committed
• Support of me and my goals
• Spend nine hours together, not say a word, still have a good time
• A good lover who can express himself physically and lovingly with consideration and openness.
• Compliments my life. 
• Religious or at least spiritual.

Coming Out

I have been thinking about coming out and it is a story that I really share because I have never figured out how to share the story in a manner that doesn't make me seem crazy or messed up by my experience.  I figure it would better to do it anonymously.

I guess you would say that I have always known that I am gay.  I've known since kindergarten.  Although at that time, I didn't have a word for it.  Maybe, different.

In college, I dated a couple of girls.  When the girls couldn't bring those sexual emotions outside of me, I became asexual.  Without sexuality.  After college, I ran into a rough spot in my life.  I had a horrible job and I couldn't figure what was wrong with me.  I remember that I was having awkward conversations with my friends about whether or not God would love someone if they committed suicide.

Then I read about this guy who took nine months off in his twenties to write his autobiography.  He discovered his purpose in life.  So I decided to write my own autobiography.  I figured if I wrote about all of the high and low points that I would figure out where I went wrong in life.  Maybe find a hidden pattern.  One thing that I had ignored and was finally able to give a name to was that I used self mutilation in high school as a means to deal with the emotional struggle.

By the time that I resolved that issue as much as I could, my life was still awful.  I decided to attend therapy.  I had always told myself that there must be something wrong with me.  I must have a brain tumor in my head that is causing me not to have those feelings towards girls.  I went to therapy and she told me that I was perfectly fine. That I was handling everything well.

When I couldn't find anything wrong with me, About two months later, I came out to myself.

Purpose of Openers

1. Break the ice.
2. Get the girl talking.
3. Get the girl laughing.
4. Establish high social value.
5. Begin building and/or breaking rapport.